Ten Ways to Parliament
Parrot has conducted an extensive and intensive research on the swiftest ways to clinch a parliamentary seat in our beloved Republic of Sierra Leone. With utmost delight, the wise flying creature wishes to share some of his findings to help power-hungry citizens to zoom their way to the big house of laws. If you want to enter parliament overnight, then follow the following instructions:
- Jet in from overseas or from the UN with a hyper-expensive and flashy BOMBA jeep with few thousand United States Dollars in your pocket.
- Then hurry to join the SLPP if you are from the South-East or the APC if you are from the North-West; pay your contributions regularly and make sure you regularly attend party meetings.
- In those meetings, make sure speak very bombastic English to tell them that you are from abroad, not forgetting to make a moonshine of flamboyant promises to transform Sierra Leone into a paradise on planet within few hours.
- Don’t forget to buy bundles of the Shankerdas-made concentrated Pegapak and bags of Cannabis Sativa in preparation for the campaign by the youths. Print few dozens of T-shirts on which must be inscribed your mission statement for the future paradise you wish to bring if voted solidly to power.
- Always rent a mob of drugged youths for not more than ten thousand Leones per day for your sporadic rallies
- When you visit the villages, hire a big community center and galvanize the hungry villagers; just promise them that when you get their votes, their hunger will vanish and they will never go to bed on empty stomach.
- Don’t forget to save part of your few thousand US Dollars to buy your party symbol at all cost, bribe all the delegates if possible and automatically get the party symbol; whether or not you are qualified for it does not matter as long as you have the bread.
- On the day of election, be very vigilant and be on your guard for void votes. Just follow the above instructions and tomorrow you are in parliament.
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