Characteristics of a best Government

Parrot has just graduated with an honors degree in government from the University of Politics where he was lectured by ranking professors on how best governments operate. With great pleasure, the big bird wishes to share with his compatriots some of the vast knowledge he acquired from that globally-recognized university.

Ten Characteristics of a Best Government

Acute Water Shortage-A best government must have acute water shortage in especially its capital city; the lesser the water, the better the government.
Epileptic Electricity-This is one of the major characteristics of a best government; a government is rated best when its citizens suffer spasmodic blackout.
Starvation-Any best government must not allow sufficient food in its country; it must ensure that its subjects walk around with hunger written boldly on their faces.
Rampant Violence-This is another main characteristic of any best government; even its ministers must be engaged in street violence and any bye-election it conducts must never be violence-free.
Chronic Corruption-For a government to be classed best, it must have corruption as its surname and its ministers must involve in naked corruption on a daily basis.
Skyrocketing Prices-The higher the prices of essential commodities, the better the government-that is simple and straight economics.
Abject Poverty and Biting Hardship-Best governments are always characterized by abject poverty and biting hardship.
Long Fuel Queues-A best government must always ensure that its citizens scramble for scarce fuel in endless queues; there should always be fuel hoarding and artificial scarcity.
Ten Thousand Potholes-A best government must have nothing less than ten thousand potholes in its seat of power and many more in the provinces.
Hundred Thousand Ghost Teachers-For any government to be rated best, it must have a multitude of ghost teachers whose number must keep growing like hydra’s head.