A conflict solution without words is the best way forward in North America and around the world
“Actions Speak Louder Than Words†– If the saying is correct, well let’s reflect our minds and souls on the events that took place at the APC-NA Ohio Convention. In the last few weeks, political partners, colleagues and power mongers have spent countless hours trying to work out problems with their chapter presidents and delegates. Yet over and over again they often come up against a major roadblock: they just don’t see things the same way. No matter how long they talk and how hard they try, neither ends up feeling really heard and understood.
While there are some political cronies sitting around corners waiting to rejoice on others’ failures, naturally they just cannot see things the positive way others see them. Happy? Yes, of course. Most these cronies have a hard time seeing things through the other good people’s eyes. What often happens when they communicate is that each person tries to get the other person to see things his or her own way. Now, instead of promoting peace and harmony, each is trying to have control over how the other person sees things. This blasé attitude often leads to more conflict and frustration in the APC-NA branch and other members are not going to take it anymore. Give a chance to these newly and democratically elected executives to do their respective functions.
While I am not suggesting that other political opportunists must stop communicating over minor problems and issues through public email, three-ways lines phone call, backbiting and bickering to defame the vulnerable and the feeble, I am offering an additional way of resolving conflict or any feeling of resentment one has against the newly elected executives of the APC-NA branch: Â That is; BY TAKING RESPECT, LOVING AND CARING ACTION IN YOUR OWN BEHALF.
This form of conflict resolution is all about action rather than talking or lambasting others. Below are some recommended actions you can take that may make all the difference in the world in your relationship with the current national executive for our noble party to move on and win big in 2012.
BRING AND SHOW SOME RESPECT, LOVING AND CARING ACTIONS TO FELLOW COMRADES:
(1)   Choose to be compassionate and caring toward yourself and your party members rather than choosing to judge yourself or your party members. Judging yourself and your partner s will always lead you to more conflicts. Choosing to compassionately care about yourself and your party affiliates, can totally change the energy between you, even without words. If you believe that you or your partner are bad or wrong for your feelings, behavior, or point of view, then you will not be able to let go of judgment. You will move toward compassion when you understand and accept that each of you has very good reasons for your feelings, behavior, and point of view. Try compassionately accepting yourself and your partner and see what happens! Avoid “The Gerr-Go And Bring-Cammâ€
(2)   Choose to practice self-discipline in terms of saying nothing rather than behaving in an inflammatory way toward your partner. Practice zipping up your mouth! Practice letting go of having to be right! Practice walking away from a conflicted or heated situation, rather than jumping into the fray in the hopes of winning. If you look back, you will see that no one wins when both people are trying to control with anger, blame, explanations, debating, defending, lectures, or compliance. However, if you choose to walk away, walk away with love and compassion – intent on taking loving care of yourself rather than punishing your partner. Walking away in anger is just another way to control.
(3)   Choose to accept that you have no control over your comrade’s feelings and behavior, but that you have total control over your own actions. It is much easier to let go of trying to control your partner when you move into acceptance regarding who your partner is. Trying to change your partner is a total waste of energy. Changing yourself moves you into personal power.
(4)   Choose to take loving care of yourself in the face of the other person’s choices. You will find yourself wanting to talk about problems when you see yourself as a victim of your partner’s choices. However, when you accept your partner for who he or she is and accept your lack of control over your partner, you can then see your way clear toward taking loving action in your own behalf. Asking the question. “What is the loving action toward few of us right now, will lead this whole branch to ideas of how to take loving care of all fellow comrades?†Again, “If I were an enlightened being and a member of this APC-NA branch, how would I be acting right now?†Ask these questions within yourself and this will open the door to creative ways of taking loving care within yourself.
The actions of RESPECT, LOVE AND CARE is the accomplishment that supports your own highest good quality without harming your fellow politicians. For example, if you are tired of often being frustrated and rushed by your greed or because your comrade is generally late leaving for an event, you might decide to take your own car each time your comrade is not ready on time. While your comrade might not like your choice, your action is not harmful to him or her. It is an action that stops the power struggle and takes care of you.
Letting go by not trying to be bossy or babysitting your political comrades as if you were hired by the head office to do so. You are not their guardians, this behavioral attitude will create bad timing and it won’t work. But if you take respect, loving, and caring action attitude within yourself, then, you have presented the keys to conflict resolution without words. Oh Boy…. E-More-Nar-Oh! And I Rest My Case!
By: Essa Thaim Kurugba, Member, Washington DC Metropolitan, USA
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