Professor Parrot – Story of a Drunkard Paramount Chief
If drinking alcohol was a criterion to travel to Heaven, Paramount Chief Vonjus of the Gold Chiefdom would have long been sitting at the left hand of God the Father Almighty, since Jesus is already occupying the right, but if alcohol can take one to Hell, then I bet my life that the has a prominent position awaiting him in that devilish Kingdom.
Vonjus is an excellent example of a chronic alcoholic; the amount of alcohol he consumes per day can float a ship, he drinks alcohol right round the clock and it is only when he is asleep that you don’t see him with alcohol. According to him, he takes five pints of stout as his breakfast, a larger quantity as lunch and the largest quantity for dinner and super. Alcohol and the chief are best and inseparable friends.
However, the chief is a highly intelligent academic, having taught for several years, so, you can spend a valuable time discussing meaningful things with him when God blesses you to meet him without the bottle on very, very seldom occasions, but when you are cursed to meet Vonjus with and in the bottle, you will regret visiting him as he would never tell you anything serious. When properly drunk, the chief would speak grandiloquent English, raving and cursing. He would bullshit anyone who dares to talk to him.
Nevertheless, Vonjus is Parrot’s best friend and the great professor has tremendous respect for the chief due to the fact that he loves his people and his people love him. But if you want to see a true masre-drunkard, then meet Vonjus, the alcoholic doctor and you will ever trust Parrot.
With Joseph Milton Lebbie
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