Professor Parrot – Sierra Leone Independence Awards in Advance

In a few days, Sierra Leone will celebrate her 52^nd so-called Independence Anniversary. The celebration will be graced by endless petrol queues, inflated prices, salary crisis, water shortage, epileptic electricity, rampant violence, endemic corruption, mass unemployment, chronic poverty, armed robbery and several other dignitaries. To mark this great day, patriotic Professor Parrot has deemed it obligatory to give excellence awards in advance to distinguished citizens on a meritorious basis.

2013 Independence Awards:

1. Fastest sworn in president in living memory: Pa Koroma, he was sworn in as soonest as he was declared winner of the 2012 presidential polls.
2. Best party loyalist in Sierra Leone: Vicky Voucher Foe, since he started his political career several decades ago, he has never changed a political party.
3. Most indebted city council in this republic: Freetown City Council, this council is struggling to settle ten billion Leones debt legated by the erstwhile mayor, Herbert Morgan Heritage George Williams.
4. First mayor to land in Pademba Prison: Herbert Morgan Heritage George Williams, he spent some time in prison for misappropriating funds meant for the 50^th Independence Anniversary.
5. Oldest domesticated crocodile in Sierra Leone: Christ the King College (CKC), crocodile, this ancient crocodile will soon celebrate its diamond jubilee.
6. Most regretted kingmaker of the century: Charlie Boy, this man seems to have been one of the worst critics of the very government he supported to power.
7. Newest religions in Sierra Leone: SLPP and APC, these two political parties have become the political religions of many voters, speaking against these parties is tantamount to blasphemy.
8. First Chancellor to boycott University of Sierra Leone, USL convocation: Pa Koroma, he did so for justifiable reasons.
9. Most disorganized and disunited trade union in this nation: The Sierra Leone Motor Drivers and General Transport Workers Union, these unions are almost always locked in a power struggle.
10. Best political party for void votes: The Sierra Leone Peoples Party, in the 2007 polls, this party got the highest number of void votes in the political history of this country.

With Joseph Milton Lebbie

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