Searchlight – 6/27/2011
Law Court Wins Kaka Award
Folks, the Searcher has been reliably informed that the Sierra Leone Law Court Building has been given the most prestigious “Kaka” Award.
This is an award that is normally given to any institution that has excelled itself in allowing its toilets to get over full, burst and overflow in the gutters of connecting streets.
The law court building is stinking Siaka Steven’s Street and offices located around the recently decorated Cotton Tree in central Freetown.
In an interview to get the reaction of the Master and Registrar of the Sierra Leone Law Court, so as to allow him to comment on such an enviable award, he said it was a singular honour for the court to receive such an award and calls on other institutions emulate them.
“We are very proud to receive the award. Just imagine! In the whole of West Africa we have been singled out for such very high award. The secret is that we eat very well in this country to be able to accumulate such massive and stinking excrement over the years. And the other secret is that people do not loiter around the Court houses because the disgusting odor drives them away. My brother, even the mad people who used to sit around these Court premises dirtying the place for us cannot stand the stench and have ran away. Hee hee hee hee, ooo, ar taya sef! I am so happy for the control this kaka has brought to law court’s intruders. And let me let you into a little secret. Right now, the Nigerians, Guineans, Liberians and Ghanaians have started carrying out research on how we do it and that is going to cost them of plenty money. So you se the kaka is going to even fetch us some dollars and sure enough I will give you some advertisements on the business soon. My boy, as you can see this kaka is big business.”
Who is the Searcher to refuse an offer of advertisement – no way?
Speaker Abel Stronge Don Baranta
Clerk of Tribunal: (Reading out the matter to be dealt with). “Nathaniel Abel Stronge Versus Members of the Sierra Leone Parliament.”
The Searching Man: “Yes, you Nathaniel Abel Stronge, Speaker Sierra Leone, at our last adjournment you refused to enter a plea. By the powers vested in me as the man with the beam that penetrates the darkest darkness and reaches the farthermost depths of the human soul, I now order you to tell me whether you are guilty or not of the grave charges that have been brought against you by the Members of Parliament.
I must warn you that you have the right to be represented by a Lawyer or Lawyers, and if however you cannot afford one the Court will appoint one for you free of charge.
Now I ask you once more, are you guilty or not guilty?”
Nathaniel Abel Stronge: “You funny man , do you realise that I am a Lawyer of over forty years experience and that I have risen through the ranks to become a Judge at the highest level? In point of fact, I know too much law for my own good. That is why I every day have problems with these Parliamentarians who do not want to learn from me the niceties of the law.
I tell you Mr. Searcher or whatever funny appendage you bear, these people should count themselves lucky that they have such a brilliant and erudite legal luminary like me. Honestly, most of what I tell them is something they should be paying for.
You have the temerity to tell me to have a Lawyer represent me before this your quack tribunal.
What Lawyer can actually understand how my powerful brain works and be able to adequately talk on my behalf?
You see, my friend, the problem I am having with the Parliamentarians is something to do with just how we look at issues.
It is very difficult for them to understand my way of thinking. A pity if you ask me. And I have to warn you that if I decide to use my numerous powers as the Number Three Man after the President and the Vice President, I will just close down this kangaroo tribunal, have you and your co-conspirators arrested and sent to prison for at least a week while my temper cools down.”
(Suddenly he starts to violently shiver, as his breathing become laboured and banging on the table).
Then he shouts “My Driver and my escort get me out of here and drive at neck breaking speed and use any route you feel like. I am the Speaker, the Number Three Gentleman in the Republic. I have too much power.”
Dumbfounded, good old Searcher gathers his papers and announces: “Good folks, this Tribunal will remain adjourned until the Speaker’s temper has cooled down sufficiently to allow him to answer to the charges against him.
This matter will be heard to its logical conclusion. I too have too much power and I am the most stubborn creature in this Republic.”
Clerk of Tribunal: “Court rise! We will inform all parties in this matter of the next date of hearing.”
To get in touch with Mr Searcher dial
076 889156 or 033 307473
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