Self-esteem – a key to happiness

I’m a born Muslim but I must confess that I don’t know when last I visited a mosque. So quoting the Holy Quran and Bible as basis of reference therefore doesn’t make this piece a sermon since it is purely aiming at positivizing the feelings, thinking and behavioral patterns of my readers towards themselves, the situation and people they live with.  (Photo: Othman Sheriff)

When God created Adam – the father of humankinds, with the aim of assigning him to govern the earth, he then informed the angels about his intention. Considering the fact that the appointment of humankind to govern the earth would automatically force them (angels) to honor and serve him, they asked God to cancel the plan capitalizing on series of reasons prominent among which was mischief and bloodshed which might be perpetuated by (we) the offspring of Adam if granted:

The Holy Bible: Genesis 1:26

“And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepth upon the earth.”

The Holy Quran: Sura Al-Baqar: 30-33

“God said I will create a vicegerent (representative) on earth.” They said “Wilt thou place therein one who will make mischief therein and shed blood? Whilst we do celebrate thy praises and glorify thy holy name? “I know what ye know not” he said.

In order to prove to the angels that Adam (humankind) was more important than them, God invited them to unexpected exams after he had secretly educated Adam (his favorite) all the answers. 

“And He taught Adam the names of all things on earth; then He placed them before the angels and said: “Tell me the names of these things if ye are right”.  They said: “Glory to thee: of knowledge we have none, save that thou hast taught us: in truth it is thou who earth perfect in knowledge and wisdom.” He said: “O Adam! Tell them their names.” When he had told them their names, Allah said: “Did I not tell you that I know the secrets of heaven and earth, and I know what ye reveal and what ye conceal?”  And behold we said to the angels: “bow down to Adam”; and they bowed down except Lusifa (the devil) he refused and was haughty, he was of those who reject Faith. 

Thenceforth, humankind became the king of this world even though we the offspring are incessantly corroborating all the allegations inter-earlier forecasted against us by the angels, which gives them a facelift in front of God.

What does the above teaches us? Besides pointing out the truth that God had chosen human being above all and granted him all the bounty and riches of the world, the above tells us that we should love, respect and dignify ourselves in both individual and collective lives for God loves us above everything.  It tells us that no man is alone in a permanent condition; even a convicted assassin who might be disowned by the general public could have a friend who would want to see him released.  Psychologically, this act is called Self-esteem, and is defined as reflect of a person’s overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs and emotions such as triumph, despair, pride and shame. A person’s self-esteem may be reflected in their behavior, such as in assertiveness, shyness, confidence or caution. Self-esteem can apply specifically to a particular dimension and can impact on individual social relations/interaction either positively or negatively.

In a layman’s term, Self esteem is your opinion of yourself:

High Self-esteem is a good opinion of oneself. It primarily depends on one’s feelings about him/herself. It is bolstered when one is surrounded by those with whom he/she feels:  appreciated, admired, desired, important, loved, needed, useful, understood, supported, respected, trusted, wanted, and valued. There is the risk of arrogance in the aforesaid feelings but that is far better and positive than that of Low Self-esteem.

Low Self-esteem is a bad opinion of yourself and could be a real sickness to your individual soul. Unfortunately, the sickness of Low Self-esteem cannot be treated with medication. Neither can it be healed strictly by someone else. Only we ourselves can rebuild our Low Self-esteems, and not without tremendous effort. This is the thing we should avoid.

To enable you properly diagnose yourself and determine as to whether you’re infected by Low Self-esteem you may need to answer the following questions:

Do you feel agoraphobic or inferior when going to public places? Do you have a job? Is your job worthwhile?  Do others respect or appreciate what you do? If others don’t, do you? Do you believe you are successful or unsuccessful? How do you see yourself (your self image)? How do you feel about your strengths and weaknesses?  Are you comparing yourself to others and ignoring the unique value that you have?  What do you think of your social status? How do you relate to others?  Can you make your own decisions?  Do you have friends? How often do you visit them or how often do they visit you? Are you married? Do you have a sex-partner? If no, do you know why? Is it your fault? Do you lie to friends or those who trust you? When, where and how last did you mingle with people socially and what role did you play there? Are you associated with any religious, social or political grouping? Are you greedy or stingy? Do you allow people to live at your expense? When last did you offer a material or financial sacrifice to someone?

Low self esteem comes from a poor self image. Yourself image is based on how you see yourself. Do you think you are a good, presentable, reliable, hardworking, honest or friendly person? Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror or do you believe others look better and dress better than you? Low Self-esteem also depends on other factors like your job. For example, do you value the job you do? Does the job you have help you be happy with who you are? Do the others in your office respect you?

Low self esteem feeds you negative thinking and cause you to believe the criticism others make of you. Do you take what others say and not speak up? This can cause you to lose confidence so it is vital to end negative thoughts if you want to build your self esteem. Low Self-esteem means poor confidence and that also causes negative thoughts which mean that you are likely to give up easily rather than face challenges. In addition, it has a direct bearing on your happiness and wellbeing.

Remember, you’re the chosen king to rule this world no matter your level of living. Stop comparing your health, economic, social status with that of those living above you forgetting about those living bellow you.

Othman Sheriff, Berlin, Germany

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