Expectations and disappointment pervade after the 2012 general election

Can you remember the last time you really looked forward to something and it did not turn out as perfect as you anticipated? Can you remember your disappointment? Let’s look at what happened here. If you were a die-hard APC or SLPP supporter and you had particular expectations that were not fulfilled because your expectations were unrealistically high, well keep on reading. You attached an emotional value to the outcome, and you focused on the emotional value rather than on the outcome of your expectations. (Photo: Essa Thaim Kurugba, author)

In retrospect, the outcome was not equivalent to the emotional value that you attached to it, and as a result you attached a different emotional value to it, namely disappointment. You did not accept the outcome or actions for what they were worth, but discarded them on the basis of an emotional judgment. Then there were other occasions where you felt that something was a chore and you did not really look forward to it but did it anyway, and it turned out to be quite enjoyable. Why would that be?

In this instance you were not emotional about the action or outcome. You focused on the action rather than on your emotions, and you were in a much better position to be in the present and enjoy the moment. There are a few issues here that we need to understand. The first one is about the process of creation. We all create our own lives and our own destinies all the time. We have thoughts. Those thoughts are put into words and the words are put into actions. There are many things that we do without even being aware of this process of creation. For example, why did you get out of bed this morning? Did you wake up and think what shall I do today, and weigh up your options, and then choose to get dressed and get on with your daily routine? Of course not. But at some time in your life you made a decision about every aspect of your daily routine and that is why the thoughts became actions that you feel comfortable with and that are acceptable to you. However, we need go through this process all the time. Sometimes it is a conscious process, for example when we feel it is time for a holiday. We decide on the dates and the destiny, and we make the bookings. Then we build up anticipation and we thoroughly enjoy the holiday.

At other times the process is not conscious, for example when you have to visit a parent that you do not get on with. You feel it is your duty to go and visit, and you do not realize that even thinking about it is a conscious thought that you expand after discarding other options. Then you anticipate the visit in the light of previous visits, and you add your emotions to the process. The choice that you made then becomes an ordeal that you need to get on with. You do not even consider the option of experiencing a pleasant visit, because you take a whole suitcase of emotional baggage with you. Is it then such a surprise that the visit turns sour – again?

Then we stop looking forward to something as if that incident owes us satisfaction, and we stop dreading future incidents as if those incidents are already bad simply because we are planning them. We start to understand that we create all of our own experiences, and we also choose what emotions we want to attach to those experiences. We then consciously create different experiences and choose different emotions and our lives are much more balanced.

That brings us to another issue, namely balance. The Universe is in perfect balance. When we choose strong emotions as a reaction to a choice we make, we in effect guarantee that we will experience the opposites of those emotions as well, because the balance will be there.

That is why something you are really excited about often turns sour, and something that you do not look forward to be often quite enjoyable.

How can we use this knowledge? By remembering that we choose our experiences and also our emotional reactions to those experiences, are not enough. We first create our experiences in our minds, and then they materialize, and therefore we need to be aware of our thoughts and change them where necessary.

Conclusively, whenever we choose a positive emotion, we must be prepared to experience the opposite emotion as well, because the Universe is in complete balance, and we cannot change that. We can only use this knowledge to our advantage.

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