Mister Idiot – Being in the court of Shar’ia Law

As a little bigot, I was interested in gaining some experience in the law court. But this was having a description in Arabic Shar’eya – no excuse for not stressing the sound letter ‘R’. Typically it wasn’t the Boko Haram type, where laws are senile; this is an Anglo type, where all Shakespearian phonetics are applicable. Some day, it has to be the trial of two active business magnets charged for corruption and seducing a big man to influence a timberland trade. The kingpin of the biggest media hype Sores Srna was whisked to testify in his own volition in the Shar’ia court regarding what he knows in the dogmatic film production sub-title of Andaa Kanoon.

Kaanoon in Arabic means LAW. The law which is meant for government officials who are eating from the national cake is reserved and applied to business persons who are making their own money and by extension give alms to the government in the names of income and withholding taxes. This trial began and the primary witness told the Shar’ia court that the much talked about documentary he filmed was not a desirable publication {sic that}. Meaning he designed it to be used by individuals as hook line to drown the innocent. It was a film and has no tangible evidence with which to try someone in real situation terms. Those who are familiar with mass media language should understand the categories of desirable publications, but this is just to whet your appetite. Desirable publication is one put out for public consumption and this category includes movies and elements for mass media broadcasts.

Undesirable publication is the opposite of the former which is reserved for private use. Examples include pornographic materials which have age restrictions and lookers barriers. On this background Sores Srna’s production came with many names to describe the dreamer’s illusionary madness in that he grabbed such copy with friction to lay wreath on individuals. But this production goes without copyright restriction; and it spanned debate in the Shar’ia court panel looking out for both the specifics and generics of meanings in the definition of the following words, ‘film’, ‘strand’, ‘documentary’, ‘montage’, ‘transcript’ and finally ‘uncut edition’. Before he could test the answers to the highlighted words he started by defining the difference between a normal camera and a video camera. This was the first time as an idiot I learnt in court that a video cameral is not a normal camera. Anyway from such definition, the word normal came under scrutiny to tell the variety of cameras from a pinhole camera, to analogue digital and multimedia cameras.

Soon, the term ‘character’, little noticing the word ‘actor’ surfaced. The amateur actor/producer was not sure what name he should use in describing his production between a strand and a film and also a documentary from a movie which are all made from the shooting montage he had packaged. The legalists understand the word character to mean the accused person in short. As an idiot I begin to discern the semantics and the running-gag between the legalese and the journalese languages. But all of these happened when the seating judge called “Hakeen” in the Arabic language (off-shooting from the infinitive word Hakam) prevailed that the bench should exercise caution in trying the understand the studios man’s English because he came from the UK and works for one of the most acclaimed Al-Lie Jera networks. The term character –is portrayed to mean one who tells the story of the film assuming the form of the real situationer. But these people are often recruited in the performing arts industry and it was little that Mr. Idiot assumed the role of a barrister to ask whether the Al-Lie Jera Man had the consent of his characters before filming them, second whether he paid them for their various roles in the film, third why he has to use undercover cameras to do the shooting and what were the rules of engagement in the game. As an idiot I also was left pondering why a film {sic that} should be used to try alleged committers of corruption, because from an idiot’s imaginary point of view of what a film is, thank God the maker said the documentary he made was a film, it stems from the artifacts of fictions in which the story is narrated in a secondary source. It means even though the viewers are convinced here to believe that an action in a film is real (keeping the fourth walls closed) and the folding scenes portray the story in a manner it is understood to be a real life event or predicament, it’s still remains an imaginary world (illusion).

In this regard, I’m getting confused here as an idiot in trying to understand that films these days have become subjects of trial evidences in the Shar’ia domain. If this is to justify that, films are prosecutorial raw stuff in the condescending Shar’ia law trials, then, my idiot fears that I will be held for trials in this same court, some day for taking a suicide role in a film when the acts of suicide itself remains criminal in the eyes of the law in real life.

This idiocy of a type climaxed the idiot’s sense of understanding, but one winks with a stupid understanding and decided to wait and see, or may be listen to hear from the wisest of judges to lay the hints or he may decide to pass a ruling.

This was all done in my stupid stupor in trying to understand the nature of crime and level of punishments one deserves in just helping some body to establish contact with state a official. I ask as a little idiot, when has helping someone else to register a business in a private personal capacity becomes a crime. The second silliest question I also ask myself was the understanding that Sores Srna is able to find his way to D Oga Gbata Gbata but said he doesn’t have access to the Kakaray agba is it that the small agba is tied to so much security protocols and express permissions so much to need a secondary route in accessing him, so to speak the accused?

Under such prevailing circumstance, Sores Srna has to seek the help of his character in the film through a set-up meeting planted with undercover cameras to establish a link to the Kakaray Agba. Ay bo if I were head of the nitty-gritty club in the country, I would’ve equally charge you for soliciting and peddling influence under false pretence to get someone commit the crime sin of helping for genuine reasons, ha ha ha! This fiction contains blinking cursors and they are inkers for the inquiry mindsets. This copyright is exclusive only to the Mister Idiot’s version. It should not be reproduced without the express permission of the author. All rights reserved.

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