How to treat people

Due to the current political climate in Freetown, Ms Thomas felt it poignant to reissue the following article on how we should interact with and treat others

We all want to have a life full of success. Many people assume without question that success is essentially material, that it can be measured in money, prestige, or an abundance of possessions. These can certainly play a role, but having such things is no guarantee of success.

The success that we should strive for is the ability to love and have compassion, the capacity to feel joy and spread it to others, the security of knowing that one’s life serves a purpose, and finally, a sense of connection to the power of the universe. All of these are what create the dimensions of success, which will bring inner fulfillment.

We as human beings are made of mind, body, and spirit. Of these, spirit is the most important, for it connects us to the source of everything. In other words we can describe it as our conscience. The more clearly that we think, the more we will enjoy the abundance of the universe.

Our conscience is broken down into many different layers, the most important being our self-esteem. Our self-esteem is portrayed by our interactions with others. Some simple examples of how we should use our self esteem are:

• Always greet people with a smile. As simple as it sounds, a smile establishes your own self-worth and shares it with others. ·
• Always say thank you when you are praised. A simple thank you is the universal mark of an individual with self-esteem.
• Surround yourself with people who enjoy their work. People with self-esteem seem to radiate it to others.

The second most important layer of the conscience is our attitude. A positive attitude means everything. Have you ever noticed when you enter a room with a huge smile on your face, give someone a comment and they immediately return with a smile?

Being optimistic is a very important key factor in creating success, especially in the community, the workplace, and more especially within your family and friends.  Too many people spend too much time every day thinking of past hurts. They image every grudge vividly in their minds. Instead they need to learn how to use their minds to create scenes of positive, pleasing emotions.  We are not responsible for what happens out there or what others do or think. We are responsible only for how we choose to respond. That’s our attitude. The responsibility is ours.

Perseverance is the third important layer of our conscience. We need to learn how to be relentless and persistent in visualizing our goals and dreams of achievement. Happiness is a learned habit. Constantly practicing the principles of self-esteem and having a positive attitude when times are tough will make your perseverance take control of any situation.  Do more than you are asked and contribute more than is required and you will find yourself catching on to things quicker.

Self-discipline is yet another important layer. Don’t be a slave to your emotions and impulses; be in charge of your feelings. Individuals, who have mastered, their emotions through self-discipline are among the most successful workers, and politicians. They are free to do their job well and are liberated from self-destructive habits that weaken the joy of working. Self-discipline is holding your ground when you’d rather run away; counting to ten when you would rather explode with anger; keeping a smile on your face when you would rather cave in; working hard when you would rather give up. Self-discipline and motivation can effect permanent change in your self-image and your capacity for joy.

Motivation will bring you to a whole different level of thought, if you let it. Sometimes it’s hard to get motivated, but if you can convince yourself using self-discipline, it will enable you to think big. External motivators including incentives, books, bonuses, meetings, etc. have little power until you yourself want to change your life for the better. To be motivated means to enjoy the thrill of achievement; welcome the challenge to get there and have an intense desire to change for the better. Paying value to others is also very important.

Communication is very important, especially inside the work force, and inside the political arena. It’s important to learn to treat people more like brothers and sisters. Paying more value to everyone you encounter in your workplace, and of course your friends and family. Listening is a very important factor of communication. When someone is talking to you give him or her full attention. When you speak, give constructive, supportive ideas. Be neither cynical nor critical. Learn to accept other peoples point of views, even if they are opposed to your own. Conversation has basically become the practice of two people taking turns talking. Don’t be too busy thinking about what you are going to say next. Practice the lost art of listening.

Visualization is also an important layer. Everything we are and are not at this moment is the result of our thinking–conscious or subconscious. It is the way we get our level of self-esteem. If we want to rise out self-esteem, we must exchange out self-image. This is done by visualization. Ninety percent of us think in pictures. Visualization is most successful when all five senses are used. If you’re uncertain as to whether you can visualize or not, try this simple test: think of a beautiful rose. Imagine its color and texture and even its scent. If you can see that rose in your mind without going out to the garden to look at one, you can visualize. It is also said that ninety-five percent of our action and reactions are subconsciously motivated.

In other words, the majority of things we do on a day-to-day basis are the result of our past thinking. Most of this programming takes place when we are infants. Some people say that a child in his first few years of life may learn up to twenty-five times as much every day as an adult does. That is why it is so important to program children with positive images. If you want to think differently about yourself, if you want to look and act differently, you must begin to visualize yourself in new ways.

The Old Testament teaches us that “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”. (Proverbs 23:7) Everyone needs a place where they can think without interruption, to visualize, meditating, to pray, and to plan. The best place to go is where you feel the most relaxed. Some people are able to go into meditative states when they jog. The best place for me is when I am in the shower. I can lock the door; and review my overall objectives, relax, close my eyes, and visualize the things I’m trying to accomplish.

If used right, visualization is one of the best ways to raise self-esteem. We must learn how to incorporate personal satisfaction in to our life. We must learn to appreciate each moment of our working days. If the work gets boring go right to the basics and appreciate your hands and mind which functions so efficiently. Use your powers of visualization to see yourself succeeding in your goals.

Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won’t taste good. This quote by Joe Paterno, is a good analogy which says, you must be satisfied with every choice you make, and never show regret. A clear conscience is absolutely essential to enjoying success. Success must be built from the inside out. Important steps to become a successful person are:  The first step to success is to think big and always believe in yourself in whatever you do. Most of us have daydreams of a better life-style, whether that means a better paying job, a bigger house, a business of our own, and more time to spend with our families or on our favorite pastimes. Some of us aren’t sure what we want, but we do know we want something better.

Through my research I have developed some important steps to take, to become successful. Each step is broken down and describes the different aspects towards reaching and maintaining success.

Setting goals:  The first step we must take is to set out goals and to make our dreams come true. Goals save you time. They help to direct your energy and enthusiasm. They provide an immediate purpose to work toward. When we have goals, it gives us something to get excited about. It is important to create mini-goals, which will give you the chance to experience continual success. Not only do you have the satisfaction of looking forward to your big dream, but you can also enjoy smaller successes along the way.

There are four different guidelines to create a short-term goal:

• Set a goal you can visualize yourself achieving.
• Set a goal that is measurable and concrete.
• Attack all your goals with enthusiasm.
• Set goals that will not allow for procrastination.

Remember procrastination is the thief that steals our joy.

The next step we must take is to use our imagination. We must learn to use and trust our imagination. The principle of personal readiness is one of the most important aspects for turning a daydream or goal into reality. Although visualization and daydreaming can help in our pursuit, they are only effective when combined with hard work. Students want the best jobs, but they just aren’t willing to turn themselves into the qualified people most companies are seeking. The Bible teaches that you cannot put new wine in old bottles. So it is with goals and daydreams. You cannot make them true until you have developed the personality, skills, and strengths necessary for the experience.

Our next step is to enable us to solve problems quickly and efficiently. We must learn however to be patient. We often choose quick, short-term solutions to big problems because we want a fast escape from the stress and anxiety that the negative situation brings. We get so unhappy and uncomfortable that we set aside our better judgment and put out energy and money into ineffective treatments. One good way to relieve stress is to take a walk or to go jogging. Scientific studies have shown that physical exercise can actually block out mental and emotional thoughts.

Success the one word that we all want to live up to. Why do we all want to be successful?

The answer to that is easy; to be a happier, wealthier, prestigious person, right?

Well we all know that success doesn’t come to easy. Throughout this article I discussed the essential elements of what it takes to become a successful person. I also stated the steps to take to become more successful. Success is a very important value for anyone to incorporate. We all have had our bad times in school, work, and personal affairs, but we can’t let those problems bring us down. We must think that every time we fail, we must analyze the failure and teach ourselves to learn what it is that made us fail. And from each experience we must take all the things we did right and expand them.

In other words we must learn to give a hundred and ten percent and never give up.

Remember the first step to success is to think big and always believe in yourself in whatever you do.

Nanette Thomas

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